Its amazing to me that I can lose perspective so quickly. Here I am someone who was happy to finally graduate high school and even that was a bit of joke (if you knew me you understand). Then I went to College and some how managed to get A`s ok but I have to mention that one teacher who kindly suggested that I take an english course. All that to say I am here learning Spanish and somehow I have turned into a perfectionist! I had no idea I was even capable of this! This thursday I had my final exam in my conversation class. For some reason after walking into the room and seeing my teacher`s tape recorder and her pad and paper ready to catch my every error I FREAKED out and was nervous. At the end of the exam I told the teacher that I thought that was the worst spanish I had ever spoken this semester and she agreed!!!! ( I later found our I got %86)
Here is the perspective,
twice a week we have chapel in between classes and I went there feeling sorry for myself and how I had ended my semester on such a negative note. When the worship started I genuinely tried to open my heart and worhsip this great God that is so much bigger than me. But you know how hard that is when our eyes are focused on ourselves.
The first taste of perspective came as I looked infront of me and saw Danielle our speaker a fellow student who has a disability that has her walking with canes. She was sitting on the floor (she can`t stand) with her arms reaching to heaven and praising God. (what a beautiful picture, God`s beauty shines when we walk in our weakness so that his power is obvious to those around us).
Perspective number two,
We had a special time of prayer for another fellow student Debra who was diagnosed with ovarian cancer this week and is on her way home to the states to start therapy. Debra prayed first, she did not pray for her own healing but she prayed for her heart. That she would keep her eyes on him who has called her and that she would remain faithful through his strength. (let me tell you the spirit of the living God could be physicaly felt in that room his peace was unmistakeable)
Me.....I am once again reminded we are all broken scattered pots of clay not one of us is whole and we never will be until we have entered into the presence of Jesus. But we all have purpose in each of our lives and though we have pain and brokeness, we are tools in the hands of a God so much greater than us. Its not people who have it all together that God uses but people just like Daniele and Debra and me who in different forms daily need to be refreshed & strengthened by keeping our perspective on God. We do not see the end from the beginning, we were not there when the earth was created..when he gave the limits to the ocean and flung the stars in place.
As you can imagine I was a crying mess almost seeing into the future and feeling a complete peace over my spanish, over our ministry and over my entire life. What a privilage to be on this journey, weakeness and all.
Love Sandra
the picture is of Izzy hitting a pinata at her birthday party last night!!! of course, we are in Latin America :)
2 comments:
Sweet one! How blessed that the eyes of your heart are open to seeing these precious sisters in the light of who they are in Christ and what they are going through. I know I haven't had to look too far to be reminded how fortunate I am. Excellent job girl 86%... high 5. heather
What a beautiful blog that has just blessed me so much! Thank you for sharing your lessons and learnings in Christ.
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